Making Decisions in Stressful Times: A Practical Guide
Life is full of decisions—big and small—but making the right choice under stress can feel overwhelming, especially when a loved one - such as yourself - is sick. Living with cancer, for example, is very challenging because you have the word “cancer” to deal with emotionally, and you are learning about the technology side of the disease, the mental component.
And whether you're facing a major career move, a personal crisis, or an urgent problem, stress can cloud your judgment and lead to impulsive or regrettable choices.
Let’s explore practical strategies to help you stay calm, think clearly, and make wise decisions even in the most stressful situations.
1. Pause and Breathe
When stress takes over, your brain’s fight-or-flight response can push you into hasty decisions. Before reacting, take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to pause. Try techniques like:
- Deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4)
- Mindfulness exercises to stay present
- A short walk to clear your mind
A moment of stillness can prevent rash choices and allow you to approach the situation with greater clarity.
2. Identify the Core Issue
Stress can make problems seem larger than they really are. Ask yourself:
- What is the real decision I need to make?
- What are the facts versus my emotions about the situation?
- What outcome am I hoping for?
- Is this the best time to make this decision? Can it wait until I am feeling more like myself?
Clarifying the core issue helps you focus on what truly matters rather than reacting to the chaos around you.
3. List Your Options and Their Consequences
Instead of getting stuck in a mental loop, write down all possible options and their potential outcomes.
Example Decision: Should I quit my stressful job?
- Option 1: Stay and find ways to manage stress → (Stable income, but continued pressure)
- Option 2: Look for a new job before quitting → (More security, but requires time)
- Option 3: Quit immediately → (Relief, but financial uncertainty)
Seeing your options on paper helps remove emotional bias and lets you assess them more objectively.
4. Use the 10/10/10 Rule
A great decision-making tool is the 10/10/10 rule, which asks:
- How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
- How will I feel about it in 10 months?
- How will I feel about it in 10 years?
This technique helps shift your perspective from short-term stress to long-term impact.
5. Seek Advice from a Trusted Source
When emotions run high, an outside perspective can bring clarity. Talk to someone you trust:
- A mentor or boss (for work-related decisions)
- A close friend or family member
- A professional therapist
Hearing those different viewpoints can provide insights you might have overlooked.
6. Accept That There’s No "Perfect" Choice
Many people delay making decisions because they fear making the wrong one. The truth is, no choice is ever 100% perfect. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on making the best possible choice with the information you have.
7. Take Action and Trust Yourself
Once you've thought through your options, take action. The longer you hesitate, the more stress builds up. Even if you later adjust your course, moving forward is better than staying stuck in indecision.
- Commit to your decision
- Take small steps to execute it
- Trust that you can handle any consequences
Final Thoughts
Making decisions under stress is never easy. By pausing, talking about it with someone you can trust, and evaluating your options, you can navigate tough moments with confidence. Remember, every decision is a step forward—no matter what path you choose.
Therapy with Dr. Valentina is an investment in your health, your wholeness, and your well-being. So, take a deep breath, look inward, and remind yourself: You are worth it.
Call me for your free 10-minute consult. Let’s talk.
Dr. Melissa Valentina
